Exercise: Defining Negotiation

Reflect on your recent negotiations and determine what mode of negotiation you typically fall into and under what circumstances.

Most people mistakenly believe that traditional haggling is considered negotiation. Imposing your will, giving in, or compromising (the good old “let’s split the difference”), those are NOT negotiating.

You can see that the balance between value and the health of the relationship is impacted directly by these different ways of doing business.

Win-Win negotiation is the start of the negotiation process, but is no longer enough. Win-With® is the next generation of creating value in negotiations and building trusted relationships.

Reflect on the diagram here and write your own definition of the following:

– Impose your will
– Give in
– Compromise
– Negotiate

What do you think your default approach is?

What are the benefits of this approach?

Do you get what you want?

Does your counterpart get what they want?

What’s the impact on the relationship?


Reflect on your recent negotiations or deals. Note the intended outcome, the process undertaken, the people involved, and the emotions and triggers that presented throughout.

Answer Key Questions

Review the diagram below to answer the questions above to determine your negotiation styles and identify the triggers that activate them.

A New Framework

Consider these answers and see if a new negotiation framework could bring even more value to these deals without competition, aggression and conflict.