Embrace Masculinity For Better Negotiations

In a world that has grown up on certain definitions of success and masculinity, it may surprise the competitive and aggressive males out there that the most successful high stakes deals are actually made as a co-creation exercise using WinWith™ thinking. Even WinWin thinking has been left for dead as a poor story of dual compromise. 

We heard Donald Trump recently brag about the tough negotiators that he had on his team. He touted them as decidedly “horrible people”, and bragged about how important these aggressive and power hungry traits were what it took to get the best deals over the line. For those of us that deal in global scale negotiations on a regular basis, the truth is he’s incredibly wrong here.

This video below shows Donald Trump in his element talking about his negotiators. More here:

Having worked on some of the biggest multi-continent and multi-language deals between nations, I’ve come to learn that the masculine power of certainty and self-confidence that comes from a proven model of co-creation is where the most value lies. This inner power stands behind us as a tangible force that makes us a stronger leader, but also enables us to manage ourselves with empathy and respect while really embracing our masculinity and standing firm in the deals and difficult negotiations we face.

Having trained hundreds of business owners in negotiation strategies now, there is an interesting exercise we often begin with. We see the various teams in the room simulate negotiations using their usual mode of negotiation default. The most aggressive and toughest negotiators (historically praised for being so), ironically end up with the least value in the deal. 

The foundations of the most successful negotiations begins with trust. Trust is built through a combination of intellect, emotional intelligence and most importantly spiritual intelligence where strategy, context and purpose lives. Those that play in this space end up with a genuine co-creation that creates more value for each party.

Not only do the men in the training programs find a new way to be comfortable in their own masculine power, it is helping them do so with trust and respect. A simple framework that is changing the face of negotiations empowers our men of the future with a new conversation.

Imagine a world where the men in business not only come home with more value in the deal, but with a new sense of trust and respect as a society? We’d see less wars, less harmful ego (not all of it is harmful), and perhaps gender balance and diversity too.

The new WinWith™ negotiation is about creating a bigger impact. Let’s unleash masculine power, but in the most effective way.